2012

As 2012 comes to an end I reflect on where I am in my journey...
I guess I grow everyday... I can say that I measure my growth by the major holidays that I can now enjoy.
Christmas today finds me at peace. I don't worry about what my Christmas would be like if I parented D. I know that I did the right thing. Will those feelings of sadness & regrets creep up on me again ??
YOU BET !! I don't worry about them as much as I have in the past.
I know that this time of the year is difficult for many and it may be years before you will feel "normal" (or what we consider normal again). I know that some get visits as often as they like and at times I wish I did as well. I think about all of the times where I wished I was there to see the firsts but then I remember that I chose NOT to parent and I appericate the fact that his parents allow me to be a part of his life as much as they do. I don't think I would want the access that others have because I cherish the times we do have and it makes them that much more special.
Do I think that too much contact is bad ? Yes, I do. I think that it is easy to become so much a part of the adoptive family that we could forget what our place is in the scheme of things.
I am sure many will disagree with me, but I am older than alot of the birthmoms I know and my views are different.
I pose the question : Would you still place your child if you were not given access to your child (such as visits monthly, contact via phone, Facebook etc.)
I can say for me it was the best decision for my situation but I think even IF contact was very limited I would of chose adoption.