Sunday, September 12, 2010

workplace no no's

As the 3rd birthday of my little dude draws near I think of all of the things I can't do at work.
Most people have pictures of their children.. They display these pictures proudly on their desk.
I can't do that.. I can't talk about how much he has grown,quirky things he does, his friends etc...
I can't talk about the awesome phone call I got the other day from him. I can't talk about the plans for his birthday...
I feel like I have this big secret I carry around inside of me & it you look at me close enough you can see it written on my face.I am careful of my conversations with my co-workers when it comes to things outside of work. It is hard to keep those 2 things seperate at times.
I know I should feel good about being who I am & what a great life I chose for my son but society doesn't look at us as women who has done such a wonderful thing for their child. Co-workers may pat you on the back or embrace you & say "wow" what a great thing you did & walk away and think "she just gave her baby away "WOW".My secret life as a birthmom is because we are made to feel less than a caring human being.
I will end this post thinking of all of the pictures I wish I could have on my desk at work so when I am having "one of those days" I could look at that sweet cute face & I know a smile would come to my face & all would be better. All I have is to try to put a picture of him in my mind & know it will get better..............

1 comment:

  1. Wow does that sound familiar. Been there.. done that. It took a long time to be able to actually talk about the decisions I made many years ago. A big hug from a fellow birthmom!