Sunday, July 18, 2010

being pregnant

How did I keep my pregnancy a secret??? Yes, co-workers knew of my pregnancy but they never asked about the baby & I never offered any information. I know that alot of my co-workers know I chose adoption but it was never discussed with me (still isn't today).
In my small community I never tried to hide my pregnancy but it just worked out to where I never ran into anyone while I was pregnant.
We chose a nearby hospital, not one in our community though. Same with the doctor, close by but not in my community.
I remember going to the doctor for the first time. I called the office & asked if a woman doctor was available. Once that was established I explained that I was choosing adoption & I needed the doctor to understand my position. I was so conditioned that adoption was an AWFUL thing to do that I thought I would be treated differently than other pregnant mothers. How wrong I was!!! I had a wonderful midwife. She understood my decision & was very supportive of me. It was hard going to the doctor, sitting in the waiting room, looking at all of those pregnant women, knowing I was one that wasn't going to be coming back with my baby to show off to the office staff. It broke my heart to see a young pregnant girl come into the office with her mom (or sometimes her father). She was so innocent looking & the idea of giving birth & raising a child hasn't really
set in yet. Oh yes, a little baby is so cute but the road ahead will be difficult & change her life forever. Here I was a grown woman, in a committed relationship choosing a different path for my child. I should be the one parenting my child & this young girl should be choosing adoption for her child.
I don't regret my decision but many times I wish I wasn't in the position to have to make such a decision..
I did have a easy pregnancy. No real issues. I never had morning sickness, or weird cravings to speak of. Pregnancy for me was easier than it was for othe women I had talked too.
Did I have concerns about my pregnancy ? YES!! I had had no prenatal care for almost 5 months. I ate pretty well, didn't drink or smoke. I was lucky I guess. I wasn't careful about lifting heavy objects, being clumsy (fell of my bicycle at about 4 months, which I didn't know I was pregnant).

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