Some Things Don't Change

I write this knowing that I tried and haven't succeeded yet. I still do not talk about my decision of adoption to anyone. I thought I had finally came to the place where I could finally open up about my secret.. I find that it isn't as easy as I thought. When you are surrounded by empowering birthmoms you think you can conquer the world. Once you leave that comfort zone reality slaps you in the face !!
We will be judged for our choice and nothing we say or do will change how many look at us. Only those who are involved with adoption really know what we feel and "how we could do that".
I am in a good place with the adoption but I still have moments.. Yes, I still wonder what it would of been like to parent a child but I look at myself and think "NOPE, you did the right thing...